Part of being a parent is making many difficult decisions, and the one of the first ones is often times one of the hardest – what to name your child. Moms and dads-to-be might argue and struggle with choosing the right name for their new bundle of joy, but some lucky ones are able to make a decision and stand behind it. That’s just what one couple did, choosing the name Catalina for their unborn baby girl, but when the mom-to-be shared the news with her own mother, things got dark.

The woman explained how her mom turned incredibly serious and demanded that she choose another name. The mom-to-be told her she wouldn’t, stating that she and her boyfriend love the name, so her mom opened up and confessed why Catalina is a no-go. Her mom revealed that before the mom-to-be was born, her father had an affair with a woman named, you guessed it, Catalina. The tryst was short but almost ruined the marriage and to this day, the memories of it are still incredibly painful to the mom. Now, her daughter is torn over if she can go through with calling her daughter Catalina. She loves the name and her boyfriend thinks her mom should just get over it, and while she doesn’t want to inflict emotional damage on her mother, she is still leaning towards naming her Catalina.

She wondered if she was a jerk for thinking that way and most people think she should come up with a new name. One commenter wrote, “I know it’s your kid and you can choose any name you wish but do you really want your mom to be reminded of something painful every time she sees or hears her name?” Another noted, “What’s going to happen after your daughter finds out that she’s named after the same woman who her grandfather had an affair with?” A different one said, “Avoid the name and things will be fine for everyone. Use it and expect drama.”

In the end,she decided on a variation of the name and went with CAT.